This is a NewsHuman article by default, simply because it could not fit into any other category. In fact, it could be considered an anti-news piece, this bemoaning of our decade’s lack of news-worthiness.

The 00s, whose more formal name of “The Aughts” is known to only a precious few stuffy intellectuals like the NewsHuman, feel to many like an extension of the 90s. Ask most people and they will tell you that they feel like the 90s were just yesterday, when in fact we are as removed from 1999 as, to put it into musical terms, Hotel California was from the founding of Nirvana. The NewsHuman believes that this vestigial identification with a long-over decade stems from the fact that nobody really knows what to call the years following the ball-dropping of December 31, 1999.

But that may not be the only reason that the NewsHuman feels so hollowed out by this decade. Here’s another: at least in this country, ever mindful of categorizing eras with respective earth-shattering pathos, it is tough to put a finger on what the Aughts will be remembered for. Here’s a quick demonstration of the previous ten decades:

1910s: World War I (the war to end all wars…)

1920s: The Roarin’  Twenties (swing, jazz, Yankees, money!)

1930s: Depression

1940s: World War II (attempts at world domination, and the nuclear threats that silenced them)

1950s: Rise of the Cold War and Anti-Communism that would typify the rest of the decade

1960s: Sex, Drugs, Rock, Roll

1970s: Crumbling of social and political norms as we knew them, largely thanks to Cold War (Nixon, Vietnam, Oil Crisis)

1980s: Cold War tensions give way to crumbling of the U.S.S.R., 1/2 of the world’s superpowers.

1990s: Interwebs!

2000s: ? ? ?

I’m sure that, along with the major events and themes from each decade, you can probably dress someone, name a famous figure, etc. The 00s have… what? Mostly leftovers from the 1990s, or so it feels. The most momentous American event occurred only a year into the decade, 9/11/01, and it was an event that shaped much of the rest of the decade: but it led to a war against a shadow opposition, it helped precipitate an American slide into mediocrity. Unlike December 7th, 1941 (which was a day that will live in infamy) it didn’t give Americans any massive, imposing enemy against whom to take arms, but rather a group of loosely organized, mountain-dwelling fanatics that have taken the rest of the decade to find.

Perhaps the decade seems so faceless because its great challenges and enemies have been as well. The romantic notions of good vs. evil that have pervaded much of our historical understanding (Us vs. Nazis, Us vs. Communist totalitarianism, Us vs. economic depression) have been largely neutralized by the fact that the nemeses of the 00s have been rather faceless as well.

So there lies the question of what will remain in the memories of NewsHumans (and MovieHumans and SportsHumans and LiteraryHumans) everywhere from this decade? For one thing, the Information Age really kicked it into high gear, which means that all of us would-be heroes without any Great War to fight can at least sit around reading Wikipedia all day. But does anyone really want to tell their grand-children that the decade of their prime was all about mediocrity, stagnation, rumored tensions without the cathartic release afforded by momentous events? Probably not. Unfortunately, that may be what we are stuck with from this decade. I put it to the namers, who were unable to make “Twenty-Oh-Five”, etc. stick, because that meant that everyone was still stuck calling our last 10 years by that droll and drawn-out nominative “Two-thousand-and…” which kept every year of the Aughts feeling like the opening of the Millennium.

What, then, is there to look forward to? Well, if we consider the 1950s the most boring decade of the 20th century for the American citizen, at least the 1960s followed. Maybe the new 10s will hold some sort of social revolution! Maybe a clear, named foe to vilify! Who knows. In all seriousness though, here’s hoping that either the NewsHuman has missed something from this past decade, or that the 2010s will at least give us some defining, momentous event to share with the grandkids.

Image:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/st3f4n/ / CC BY-SA 2.0